The last month has been really rough.  Have there been any good things?  Yes, and perhaps I should start with those.  No, I think I'll end with those.  It's always good to end on an up note, right?

David has really taken another nosedive since early August.  He began to have some gastric discomfort after eating about that time.  We kind of wrote it off as anxiety, and didn't think too seriously about it.  But it gradually got worse until a few weeks ago, he was crying and screaming with pain and fear off and on all day (and sometimes at night) and refusing to eat at all unless we absolutely forced him to.  At this point, we felt alot of it had to be anxiety based b/c he was also clinging to some 'props' that have to do with his fear of throwing up.  Huddled over a bucket was his preferred position.  But eventually we were able to get rid of the props and 'drama'.....but he was still writhing and crying from pain that now seemed frighteningly genuine. 

Was it anxiety that had led to a gastric issue or was it a gastric issue that had triggered the anxiety?  That is the question we (and all his physicians) have been dealing with.  We actually worried that it was his heart at one point....prompting a pediatrician-recommended trip to the ER and an ECG.  We found he had an untreated strep infection.  We are exploring PANDAS....an autoimmune malfunction that is associated with strep and can cause OCD type symptoms.  We have been in to the psychiatrist, the psychologist, multiple trips and phone consults with his pediatricians, the ER and lastly a GI specialist in order to rule out a physical cause to his pain.  They've done bloodwork, ultrasounds and tomorrow will do a endoscopy (a colonoscopy, but at the opposite end).  So far.....nothing.  Yet I have a child who every half hour or so writhes on the floor in pain saying he can't stand it any longer.  He's not really getting any fun attention from it.  There is literally nothing more I can do for him.  And he's a bit distraught b/c Johnny and Anna got to go with Matt to St. Louis today.....a trip we were all to go on, and which would/should have been alot of fun.  But, it was out of the question to go with David at this time. 

I feel strange praying that they find something tomorrow.  I guess I want them to find something physical that we can fix.  The alternative to me is way worse.  Physical problems are easier to fix I think than mental or spiritual ones.  I have found that it is a difficult thing to look your child in the face while he is crying from pain and tell him there is nothing wrong.  The thought that we could have to go on like this makes me want to give up now. 

Alright, you get the picture.  Pray for us.  Pray for David.  Pray the Lord directs us as far as future treatment.  Pray for Matt as he's got alot on his plate ministry-wise and complete insanity at home.

The good stuff.  Leah was an absolutely adorable flower girl in my very good friend Lisa's wedding.  Lisa and I have known each other since Grade 3.  I usually say she's my longest friend, meaning a friend I still have that I've known the longest.  Although even as I type this I'm realizing that I actually met Charity when I was 5 or 6.  Hmm, guess I never thought of that!  Lisa and I have followed each other around for years....elementary school, then high school, then college and now we both work at CFS.  I'm so happy for she and Michael!  Anyway, Leah made it down the aisle despite the fact that it was an hour past her nap time.  At the last minute, she didn't want to go...but thankfully Matt had the presence of mind to scoot to the front of the chairs and let her catch a glimpse of him down there.  Then she went down just fine and remembered half way to toss some leaves!  I am hoping to post a link here to the photographer's pictures when she has them up.  I took some too, but I won't reiterate my computer problems once again.  I threw my back out something terrible the Thursday night before the wedding.  I survived the weekend on Aleve and crawled in to the chiropractors office on Monday.  Thankfully, I am now completely healed!  It was miserable with all the flurry of wedding activity....I couldn't even sit comfortably or bend or drive or anything.  And you can imagine all the crouching and bending I had to do!

The other high note in my life right now is Johnny's school.  I think we both find it an escape.  I am so glad to be doing the RVA right now, he is enjoying the material so much, and I am enjoying how well-laid out it is.  Plus all the support from the staff.  He got all A's on his first round of tests and seemed to enjoy the whole testing process.  His writing/composition is getting better and better.  This week's composition was TWO pages!  At first, he'd complain about a paragraph!  Now, he's really getting into it.  I'll have to start posting some of his compositions.  I am actually talking to the administrator about enrolling David in the Verticy academy.  It's offered by Calvert in partnership with the Jemicy school, which is a school for college-bound kids with language-based learning disabilities (like dyslexia).  They would screen David and basically tailor make a curriculum for exactly where he's at, and it would all be geared towards multi-sensory learning and kids with LLD.  This is a new opportunity the RVA is offering.  If we can get through this latest stuff with D, I would really like to get him into this program even still this year. 

So that's about it.  I've got tons to do before we go in tomorrow morning, so I'll just end now.  Thanks for your thoughts and prayers!

wow, tarah, what a rough month! i have a hard time when one of the kids gets sick for a few days; i can't imagine going through something like this. Did you find anything out from the endoscopy today?? You and David are in my prayers daily.

My prayers are with you guys. I know how stressful it is to not know what the problem is. I hope you have found some answers. Keep us updated!